Hello, my name is Jana and I'm a people pleaser.
Whew. Now that I've gotten that off my chest... it's exhausting trying to make everyone like me. The older I get and the longer I live the more people I come across who decide I'm not their cup of tea. It's exhausting keeping a mental tally of people who said they a) don't like me b) think I'm too nice c) too perky d) phony e) fill in the blank.
This has been a lifelong habit. In elementary school I had people threaten to beat me up. In high school someone outright told me they didn't like me. In each instance, I tried my darnedest to make these people like me. As an adult I've come across more people who don't click with me and I usually want to "fix" it, somehow change their opinion...
I have something to say to myself and other people pleasers....
In all the self defeat and nonacceptance ... we're only causing ourselves frustration, anxiety, and pain. Stop questioning who you are and wondering what's wrong with you. You have been uniquely designed and the way you are is good. "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." Jeremiah 1:5
Not only did God set you and me apart, he took the time to do this...."And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered." Matthew 10:30 I've got a LOT of hairs. Why am I worried about what anyone thinks of them? God already counted them and set me apart to do great and mighty things.
So who are you trying to please? Who am I trying to please? This, my thirtieth year, I've realized I need to stop. I need to stop being self conscious about whether people like me. I need to stop doubting my abilities and apologizing for being a "bossy pants." I'm not bossy. In fact, I'm probably one of the least "bossy" people you'll ever come across. I need to take ownership of the gifts and talents I've been given. I need to stand firm on God's promises that his gifts and call are irrevocable and stop apologizing and trying to please humans.
"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10 NIV