Vision Vanity

I was all jazzied up about getting contacts today. Thank you, Santa Claus! I haven't worn contacts since I was 16 so it's been a while.

My new optometrist was very pleasant. He knows my older siblings and I am near his son's age, so hooray for small-town business and service. We go through the whole "Which is better, 1 or 2? 3 or 4? etc.", "What do you hear from your brother these days? small talk, small talk, small talk..."

Then, I get the news: "Well, it looks like we're going to have to go with a bifocal to correct your esophoria and your current perscription is a little too strong."

Esophoria is characterised by inward deviation of the eye usually due to extra-ocular muscle imbalance.

BIFOCALS?!?! Awwww dang, that sucks! Don't "old people" wear bifocals???

Me and "old Barbie" now have something in common: stupid bifocals. Bet she needs 'em too.

Vision insurance, I hate you too. You and your stupid bifocals can kick rocks and pee up a rope. You are not my friend. Yes, although you save me money, I still don't have contacts, which I NEED because I take dance and my glasses fling off when turning. So, sweet Helen, who works at the optometrists' office, all the $$$ you figured still makes me cranky. Sweet Helen, it's not your fault glasses and contacts, even with insurance, still cost far more than the amount Santa generously left under my tree. Actually, you cost nearly three times, THREE TIMES!!! 3 Xs!!!! as much!!!! I. hate. you.

I had a nuclear meltdown classic Jana style. Which means, I waited until I got in the car. Got down the road a ways and was on the phone crying with Honey. Honey patiently listened to me overexaggerate in every way possible. Honey, you deserve a medal. You see me when I'm the worst. You see me the way no one else does. Here's a small glimpse of what Honey got to endure:

[all said through tears, sobbing, and the most pitiful whining you've ever heard... I didn't edit anything out really. I'm putting my embarassing tantrum out there for you to enjoy and laugh.]
"I hate my eyes. They're stupid. Stupid pretty blue. I'm blind. I just want you to tell me it's stupid. It's not funny!!!! (he wasn't laughing at all) I can't see. I hate the eye doctor. I never want to go see them again. I'll neverrrr have contaaaaacts. I wanted to wear contacts in our wedddddinggggg! Stupid blind esophoria. I HAVE TO WEAR BIFOCALS like an old ladyyyyyy. It costs too much moneyyyyy! I hate my stupid eyes. They're so dumb and blue. They're blind!!!"

Epic Pout including running mascara...

In hindsight, after reading this, I WAS being ridiculously melodramatic. I'll go back in a month or so, when I have more money and buy contacts. It will be fine and I will survive. Yes, I'm 27 and I will be wearing bifocals soon. Please try not to make too much fun of me. My vanity is really winning out here.

I'm not blind. I can see. I won't die.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." Psalm 139:13 NIV

My Heavenly Father knew I would have vision trouble and he knew I'd be a drama queen. God, I'm sorry for saying I hate my eyes. I actually think they're pretty nice. I especially love the blue color you gave me. Thanks for allowing me to have vision insurance and the sight I have. There are so many people who are unable to see. Forgive me for being so vain about this whole vision thing. I love you and I'm glad you created me. ~Jana


<3 ~ Get you fashion on~ <3
With or without glasses...
You bettah werk what God gave you!

I'll post pics when the new glasses come in. <3

Christmas Weirdos

"Studies show that moist environments, such as your bathroom, are a haven for bacteria."

GROSS

So, my honey got me this for Christmas. :oD


Keep those nasty toilet germs at bay...


Thanks, honey!


When telling a co-worker he got me a toothbrush sanitizer for Christmas, honey's co-worker said, "Normal people don't ask for that [toothbrush sanitizers] for Christmas"

Who said anything about being normal?!?! ;o)
Get your fashion on and keep the germs away!
Merry Christmas!!!

My "Day Job"...

In 'real life' I'm a teacher of first grade darlings. A lot of them don't understand my clothing concepts. Which is okay... it keeps me happy and entertained.

11/15/2010- Monday's outfit:
-Student:"Why are you wearing a skirt over your pants?" Miss Groenewold:"Because it's see through and if I didn't have on pants under it you could see my legs and that'd be gross". Student: *quizzical look on face and walks on*


11/17/2010 - Wednesday's outfit:
- "Ilikeyourshirt! Ilikeyourvestyshirthingy! Ilikeyourclothes! You dress like a model!!!"

-"You look like you skinned a polar bear."


-"You look like an eskimo."


- "Can I please touch your jacket,... shirt...thing?"


Remember, every day is your runway.... what are you showing?
~Get your fashion on~
<3 Jana Faith

Curvy like a dowel rod. Wait. What?!

I've been viewing the designer collections for Spring 2011 on Vogue's website. As visually stimulating as they are, I can't help but think, "These models are shaped like dowel rods."

Designers, I know it's challenging for you to be perpetually creative. How 'bout ya'll challenge yourselves to designing for REAL people. Let's try something a real live person would wear. Mkay? It's easier to make clothing for stick people. Plus, I bet if those models got to eat some pizza or a bread roll from Logan's they wouldn't have a scowl on their face like they do now. I've thought that for a long time.

"Gah, I wish I could have some bread from Logan's."

I am never going to be long and skinny. I will never stand taller than my 5'4". So, help a sistah out... make something I'd wear for real. Put a gal who looks like me on the runway. Pretty please?



~ Get your fashion on ~
<3 Jana Faith

Edit 9/28/2010 - I know I sound like a big ol' fathead. I did like a lot of what I saw. I should give mad props to Oscar De La Renta and Ralph Lauren. They had some classic, real life, wearable stuff. I <3 what they have coming this spring. So, check them out. For reals.

Vintage Queen

I went to the Vintage Tulsa Show this weekend with my dad and I found some treasures. I really liked the way this outfit turned out....so, I'm sharing. :o) Plus, I'm wearing my affectionately nicknamed "Nanny McPhee" shoes. I got them for $15 and I simply love them. I told a friend tonight, I don't expect anyone close to my age to appreciate them but I've been looking for a pair of shoes similar to these for years and they're next to impossible to find in my size.... so YAY!









~ Get your fashion on~
Jana Faith

p.s. obviously, my room is messy.... so?

Bobby pins are your friend!

I have a little tub of bobby pins I use all the time. I LOVE THEM! Bobby pins are great because they are inexpensive and versatile.

Okay, I love ponytails. I wear ponytails often. It's quick, it's easy, and it keeps the hair out of my face. Just one problem, I always feel like I'm being a bit of a bum if I do just a ponytail. So, here's where the bobby pins come in handy.



Okay...
1. Part your hair on the side. (My hair is always parted on my right side. I tend to favor side parts for some reason)

2. Take a small bit of hair from the bigger side of your part and begin twisting back away from you face.

3. Continue until you think you should stop. You can carry it back to the nape of your neck if you want. For this style, I didn't do that.

4. Secure the end with several bobby pins. When I secured my hair, I alternated directions of the bobby pins to make it firmly secure.If you twisted farther down the side of your head, you may need to put bobby pins along the way so it doesn't come unraveled. I have really thick hair so I always use a lot of bobby pins.

5. Once you have your twist secure and are pleased with it you can put a hair tie in for your ponytail. My hair's not quite long enough to do it yet, but I think this would look really polished if I made it a bun instead of a ponytial. Today, I just did the flip through.







If you have more questions or if I can clarify please let me know. :o)

~Get your fashion on~
Jana Faith

Modest is hottest

Think it over for yourself.
Source: http://www.dictionary.com

mod·est  [mod-ist] –adjective
1. having or showing a moderate or humble estimate of one's merits, importance, etc.; free from vanity, egotism, boastfulness, or great pretensions.
2. free from ostentation or showy extravagance: a modest house.
3. having or showing regard for the decencies of behavior, speech, dress, etc.; decent: a modest neckline on a dress.
4. limited or moderate in amount, extent, etc.: a modest increase in salary.

—Synonyms
1. retiring, unassuming. 1, 2. unpretentious, unobtrusive. 3. pure, virtuous. Modest, demure, prudish imply conformity to propriety and decorum, and a distaste for anything coarse or loud. Modest implies a becoming shyness, sobriety, and proper behavior: a modest, self-respecting person. Demure implies a bashful, quiet simplicity, staidness, and decorum; but can also indicate an assumed or affected modesty: a demure young chorus girl. Prudish suggests an exaggeratedly self-conscious modesty or propriety in behavior or conversation of one who wishes to be thought of as easily shocked and who often is intolerant: a prudish objection to a harmless remark.


—Antonyms
3. bold, coarse.

How I see it...

I have a hard time summing up what works for certain body types. So what I'm going to do is break things up into pieces.

*disclaimer*
I do not own this picture




Kudos to Jess for embracing her curves! This dress has the potential to be cute and ultra flattering. Here's what needs to happen:

1) The black sash around the middle cuts her torso in half. If the sash were moved down to her waist it would elongate her torso. With her petite 5'3" frame, where it sits now, it makes her look stumpy

2) The length of the skirt needs to be shortened a few inches. Perhaps to her knee or just a bit above it. Because it's length is so far down her calf, it makes her legs look shorter. This all goes back to her having a petite frame....

3) Lastly, this doesn't bother me as much but it's something to consider:
the oval/bubble print fabric makes her large bust appear more roundy/busty. Kinda like, BAM! So perhaps a solid would minimize her bust.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I basically just said to get her a completely different dress, but perhaps now you can see something you may not have seen before? I don't know....
Questions? Clarifications? Please let me know what you think.

~Get your fashion on~
Jana Faith

p.s. I couldn't figure out how to appropriate word/spell busty/bustier/more busty. It made me laugh. Lover of all things English, what do you recommend on that?
p.p.s Being a 'petite, busty gal' is close to my heart ya'll.
p.p.p.s. I <3 Jessica Simpson. I am not bashing her at all. Love her style!

Couture fashion is irrelevant. What?!

"Couture has become completely irrelevant. Couture isn’t necessary, even to promote the brand. Customers are smart. They know that a $10,000 wedding dress will look as beautiful as a $1 million wedding dress. Maybe it will not be finished the same way inside, but who will know?"

-Designer Oscar de la Renta to the Wall Street Journal on his opinion of couture.


YESSSS! Okay, honestly, I don't know anyone who can afford $10,000 on a wedding dress...but the point of this quote is people don't have to pay designer prices to get designer looks, which makes me super happy! Thanks to places like Forever 21, Target, and online markets, high fashion is affordable to every day buyers. Plus, I notice the above quote comes from a couture designer. *gasp*

So for my friends I hear saying, "I can't afford fashion".... well, there's probably an alternative somewhere waiting in the wings. Best of luck and as always...

~ Get your fashion on ~

~Jana Faith ~

p.s. I have NOT forgotten about the body types styling and hair styles you all have requested. It's still a thought in my mind. I'm waiting until I have the proper time to devote to something like this. Perhaps summer. <3

Who is Tavi Gevinson?

She is a 13 year old fashion blogger...

I'm checking her out. Maybe you could too... To say the least, I'm intrigued.

http://tavi-thenewgirlintown.blogspot.com/

"Wears batman capes and oversized hats. Scatters black petals on Rei Kawakubo's doorsteps and serenades her in rap. I wish I was Daria but I get too excited about things like candy to be deadpan all the time."

~ Get your fashion on ~
<3 Jana Faith <3

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Maya Angelou
[secret revealed: it's YOU!]

<3 Get your fashion on <3
Jana Faith

Taming the monster in the closet...

“Labels are for filing. Labels are for clothing. Labels are not for people.” ~Martina Navratilova

February. Valentine's. Spring is just around the corner and that means spring cleaning. Ugh. Confession: I am the WORST when it comes to cleaning. Seriously. If I tell you how bad I truly am... well, it's embarassing but that's not the point of this blog. We are going to tackle the 'skeletons' in our closets together. :o)

I realize it's easy to become emotionally attached to clothing. I'm the first to admit I have too many clothes. So, I'm going to use a hodge-podge of what's helped me clean my closet and what the 'experts' say on purging your closet. I figure when the closet is purged and organized, it'll be easier to create outfits.

6 questions to ask:

•Have I worn this within the last 12 months?
•Does it fit me now?
- By the time you're thin enough to wear the article of clothing again, will it still be in style?
•Do I feel good when I wear it?
- This is about confidence. Are you your most confident you when you wear it?
•Do I look good when I wear it?
- I think this goes hand in hand with being comfortable. If you're comfortable and it looks good (both are important!) then keep it.
•Am I comfortable in it?
- If you are readjusting the sleeves, tugging to make it longer, or pulling the pants from your rear, you're probably not comfortable. I can honestly say, when I'm uncomfortable, I get cranky, stressed, and cry. Sounds dramatic, I know, but it's true.
•Does it hold any special sentimental connection for me?

If the answer is "no" it has to go!

Last thing: Are you keeping the piece of clothing because you feel proper alteration will make it wearable once again? Beyond a missing button or a simple hem, the clothing would be best altered by a professional. Before dashing off to the tailor, do the math in terms of time and money. If it's still worth it, then get it altered ay-sap. If not, it has to go.

You know yourself better than anyone, I have to have a friend with me for "emotional support" when cleaning out my closet. Plus, a brutally honest friend can say, "Jana, girl, snakeskin has been out for years. Do NOT keep that skirt!". [true story]

Okay, my very LAST tip is all me. There is a difference between vintage and old clothes. This is going to sound a bit harsh... but I realized my ten-year-reunion is next summer. EEK! Unfortunately, unless it's a "wardrobe basic"**, clothes from high school, unless sentimental, may need to be reconsidered. It's always up to you. I'm always an advocate of being yourself so if these items reflect your personal style hold on to it.

So, let's get those closets purged because one they are, we're going to donate clothes and we're going to learn how to use what have to create great things.

"So much of purging is not giving in to your feelings, but rather using your head." ~ Christopher Lowell [home organizing/decorating guru]




** Wardrobe basic- explanation/blog/ coming soon.... stay tuned!

~Get your fashion on~
<3 Jana Faith

Ruby Red

Slippers!

These beauties are my new steal from Payless. They were only $10. Yay! Black is one of my favorite colors but to avoid feeling/looking drab I like to add a punch of color.... so here they are.



They'll be peacefully waiting until it's dryer out.

~Get your fashion on~
Jana Faith <3

Making a choice...

"Oh...I've had it up to here!
The moment that I step outside
So many reasons
For me to run and hide
I can't do the little things I hold so dear
'Cause it's all those little things
That I fear " ~ No Doubt



I am tired of living this way! Fear and worry have ruled my heart too long. This is not how my Heavenly Father designed my life to be. I am putting Him first. It's time! The "what-ifs" and the "you're not good enoughs" have no place in my mind. Those are lies from the Father of all Lies. I've bought into what satan, the liar, has been telling me far too long!

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7



I choose to live and so can you!

~Get your fashion on~
Jana Faith <3

Grammy's - not just for your Grandma. ha!

Okay - so maybe this is fashion - my FAVORITE performances/artists of the night were Lady Gaga and Pink. You may ask, "What do the Grammy's have to do with fashion?" or maybe you're one of the people who watch for the sole purpose of seeing what they wore, either way...

I may be on a bandwagon with this, but I love Lady Gaga. She is, as my friend said, a catalyst. She gets people talking. I know that gal is as crazy as crazy gets but something about her keeps me entranced. I wait to see what she's going to do next. The Grammy's were no exception. Here is what I appreciate most about her: She is 100% original. She has a team of designers who help her create her imagination's dreams. There are no limits to what she'll do. She is least of all concerned with what people think of her. It's a lesson I am trying to learn. You go, Gaga! Plus, as delusional as she sounds at times, I can appreciate when she says she wants to "create a place of acceptance for all the weirdos out there"... sometimes I feel like a weirdo but I don't care as much as I used to about that. Lady Gaga also says, "Be good to your parents." It's a nice thing. Fashion? No. Being true to your values and yourself? Definitely!

On to the next performance... Pink!


So, apparently, she performed somewhere else in a nude bodysuit. I musta missed that. Either way, what made her performance intriguing was not just that she performed in a body suit with bedazzled 'personal areas'. To appreciate what was going on... I had to look past the awkwardness. Pink! did cirque-de-soleil type movements while SINGING - [NOT lipsynching]and having water poured over her and the co-performers. Sounds crazy, but it was so beautifully captivating. Also, the song she sang was such an emotion-evoking song. So... again you ask, "Fashion?" my reply is: Not necessarily fashion but it was more about personal style. She had to learn something new to be able to perform the way she did. Learning new things is part of growth. She exposed herself physically and emotionally. She left herself open. By no means am I saying to go around in extremely revealing clothing. Modest is hottest! ;o) My point is, allowing non-traditional beauty can be a good thing. Beauty in people's uniqueness. Beauty in finding God doesn't fit in a box. Yeah, I made Pink's performance about God...

God is massively creative. I am so thankful for the uniqueness He's blessed me with. Being afraid of the way God made you... well, let it go. Do your own thing and be concerned with what God thinks of you instead of what other people think. Really, I'd rather Him be proud of me for being myself than being what someone else thinks I ought to be.




"Sometimes in life you don’t always feel like a winner but it doesn’t mean you’re not a winner.” ~ Lady Gaga

"Calling me sugar
You called me sugar" ~ Pink

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." ~Psalm 139:13

~ Get your fashion on ~
<3 Jana Faith