5 Sleeps Until BlissDom

Normal folks would be excited. I on the other hand, have shut down. That tends to be how I deal with things that make me nervous/stress me out. "Hey Crazy Lady, BlissDom is supposed to be exciting."



I'm a doofus with my video camera, otherwise you'd be getting a vlog. Someday I plan to figure all that out.... but in the meantime, here's my thoughts on BlissDom.

I need to make a list of the outfits to pack. I need to dig out my suitcase. I need to call my brother and his wife to make arrangements to see them while we're in Dallas. I need to decide what I'm wearing. I need to charge all the electronics I'm bringing. I need to get lesson plans done for when we come back from BlissDom. All I really want to do is crawl in bed and read Mockingjay and pretend BlissDom is still months from now...

There are two versions of me in a setting where I don't know people. Version A.) Awesome, confident, outgoing, and friendly. Makes everyone feel at ease and is completely engaging and genuine. Version B.) Hesitant to make immediate connections, always observing, giving the impression I'm shy.  Still awesome, but people don't know for a while. I'm worried about which Jana will show up Thursday at the New Comers Meet-and-Greet. 

I'm not staying at the Gaylord Hotel. My husband is driving me down and we'll be lodging somewhere else. How is the whole scheduling situation going to go down? How is the transportation going take place and how inconvenient will this make things for him? (p.s. he's awesome and one of my biggest supporters....) 

I have a tiny blog in the blog world. I mean, 104 followers is just not a ton. I'm beyond grateful for the followers I have. They're the awesomely terrific kind who comment and interact and that's valuable. Speaking of that GFC, you suck. Google Friend Connect,  I worked my rear off to validly earn my followers and you're gonna up and leave? Thanks, ya punks. I suppose I will be looking into Bloglovin' so the delightful folks who've chosen to follow will have an opportunity to continue.
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Also- I began this blog as a "fashion blog" but let's be serious- I can't shake the niggling thoughts of self-doubt. I shop the clearance rack at Wal-Mart. Target seems like I'm splurging and thrifting has completely ruined me on paying full-price for anything ever again. So as much as I love the clothes in my closet, I'm not a typical "fashion blogger". I can't help but feel I need to go to Francesca's, Forever 21, Amaranth Collection,  and Target and revamp my wardrobe. Except I won't do that.  I need to be myself. I need to be the Jana who doesn't wear jeans even though it's casual Friday. I need to be the gal who is comfortable wearing skirts when everyone else is wearing pants. I need to be myself.

The good news is this - people here believe in me.  One of my sweet friends, who also has a child in my class, brought me the most thoughtful gift.

 

Seriously- just the encouragement I needed! Just when I'm pretty sure I have no business going to such a huge thing- my niece reminds me: writing is one of my spiritual gifts. When I am believing the worst about myself, someone reminds me this is all for a Greater Good. 

I'm going to BlissDom ya'll! I'm gonna have fun in spite of myself! I promise to keep you posted, friends.