Throwback Thursday - Remember Xanga?

Seriously, does anyone remember the good ol' days of Xanga? If you don't, it's okay. It was pre MySpace. It was pre Facebook. It was pre Twitter. It. Is. Ancient. For reals. 

Well - I had a Xanga and I updated that dude frequently. It was an online journal. A diary of sorts. More open than my blog - let's pretend it's 2010 - and life was just beginning .... (twinkly time-machine music because we're going back....)

WARNING: word heavy, deep though, sad heart post comin' atcha.

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Tuesday, March 30, 2010

• We don't want to no drama.
  Life 101
  I managed to escape all the drama of high school. Thank goodness... but as I've gotten older, drama has increased. All those little sayings my parents used to say are starting to make sense.
  - I've been doing mental gymnastics.
  - Life 101
  - Gettin' old ain't for sissies
  These are a few of the gems... but seriously, why does life get more complicated as we get older? Sometimes I wish I could escape the reality of adulthood and head back to being a child. I've proclaimed I have the female version of  the"Peter Pan Complex". I'm okay with that. Growing up causes growing pains. Geez.
  
  Some people will always hold a place in our hearts and memories but no longer fit in our lives. Friendships die. I have been having a hard time sleeping tonight. I miss when my friends and I used to call each other and have "dress-up" days at school. We'd all wear our black pants and we knew we were hot stuff. I miss when my brain didn't feel cluttered with nonsense. I miss the joy of picking honeysuckle on the way to Aunt Betty's house. I miss the innocence of when someone asking me if I was gay I REALLY thought they were asking me if I was happy. *sigh* There are only a handful of people I feel like I am really myself with... I miss being a kid. I like that I am 'mature with childlike qualities'. I've been dealing with this maturity business for a long time.... years, in fact. I miss when my best friend was my best friend instead of a girl I don't know anymore. Sometimes, the effort is takes to maintain a friendship is more draining than it's worth and you have to cut ties. Everyone keeps telling me to pray about it.... Growing pains. I am experiencing growing pains.
  
  I told my parents my friends are getting their drama all over me. It's wearing me out. It makes me want to shake some people and say, "What are you doing?!" Life gets messy. I want to tell some people what I really think but as my dad says, 'It wouldn't be prudent'. Thanks Dad, for sharing your wisdom. I'm going to be prudent and be a friend....
  
  Wasn't trying to be a "Debbie Downer" here but I needed to get this out. Growing up is hard to do.
  
  Still to this day... Joe is constant, stable. I am thankful for that. Even moreso, God is faithful. I've been telling Him my heart tonight...
  
  

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   Whoa... life moves. I'm happy I've dealt with my female Peter Pan complex and moved on to an Alice and Wonderland Merry Un-birthday complex. Ha! Did you know, I have a Pinterest Board about Alice in Wonderland? I STILL think she should be an honorary Disney Princess.  I digress, either way, to update you, the friendship mentioned above was lost. The memories stay in my heart. My other friends are making better life choices. And I'm happy. Joe is still a constant. Did you read our Love Story beginning? I'm mentally preparing for the second chapter.... 

  
  

  Lastly, did you enter the Statement Necklace Giveaway Heather is hosting for me?